When I was in debt I bought what I wanted when I wanted…hence that was why I was in debt. I had instant gratification. It was instant but short lived until I bought something else to get more gratification. I hate to admit it, but I was focusing my happiness on the stuff I was buying.
Once I realized that I changed my focus. I discovered I couldn’t sustain happiness by charging on credit cards. What I realized was real gratification came from God first but in the realm of finances, true gratification came from planning, saving and buying only when I had the cash to do so.
Wow, I found that by doing that, I had way more gratification, joy and happiness than I ever did just buying what I wanted when I wanted it like an immature small child. I grew up and began living in my means.
Delaying gratification requires planning and making some tough decisions. I have clients come to me wanting to get out of debt. They commit to the plan. They budget and yet they will come into my office and tell me how they just bought a new boat because it was a “good deal” not because it was in the budget. Or they bought a new truck with the “justification” (code word for excuse) of using it to work side jobs, jobs that never transpire. You see delaying gratification isn’t so much about managing your money but more so about managing your behavior.
So many people think that life is a big game and the one who dies with the most toys wins. The real game of life is being a person of good character. Building your relationship with God and spreading HIS word. Being the best parent you can be by protecting your family and kids. Being home and engaged with your kids. Your kids and spouse need and what you not stuff that is short lived.
So what do you do? Start. That’s right. Start making a budget. Start telling yourself continually what your goal is about money, getting out of debt, and building a relationship with Christ and family.
It won’t be easy at first; your spouse needs to be on the same page with you. It will be a change in lifestyle and change is never easy. But the long term payoff, the delayed gratification will be 1000 times greater than your best sense of happiness or “instant gratification” you ever had when you bought something you could not afford.
Sometimes you may need some help to get started, that is where a personal coach comes in. If you find you need a personal coach, my services are available nationwide or you can find a coach in your area.
A coach will help you set up a budget, be your accountability partner, and walk you through some of the difficult things you may have to deal with such as dealing with creditors.
A coach will help you learn that delayed gratification is worth so much more than instant.
It’s a blessing in life if you find you can be content with the basics of food, clothing, shelter and transportation. It’s a fantastic blessing if you can train yourself to bypass what you think you want right this second in favor of what you’re reasonably certain you’ll need next month or next year.
Imagine if your fully-funded travel account, which you intended to spend on a cruise, is instead used to get your through a short term job loss you had no way of predicting. Sure your plan may not turn out like you think but exactly how bad is the above outcome compared to no savings at all for a cruise or unplanned job loss?
You’ll get your chance to travel, and in the meantime, you’ve been able to provide for a shortfall without having to take out another mortgage on the house or top off the credit cards.
That, to me, is the kind of instant gratification that thrills me no end—-being able to function as your own mini-bailout program and not get further into debt or rely on someone else.
That is total gratification!
